i've been struggling lately with the term 'friends' and trying to find out what it really means beyond the webster dictionary. i've analyzed some past 'friendships' and even some current ones, to see if i can figure out a way to describe friendship in a way that fits with me.
i honestly feel incredibly alone right now. i feel like i have all of these 'friends' and yet where are they? they're sitting on the other side of the computer acting all concerned or supportive, or they totally want to hang out, but aside from a few 'what's wrong?' comments or 'i'm totally happy for you' or 'lets plan something next week', they're not there. all i do is sit at home with the baby and have no adult communication what-so-ever. my conversations are about asking an infant if he is poop or if he'd like another bite of avocado. don't get me wrong; i love being a total mommy! but us mommies need some adult friends too. cause right now, this mama's best friend is her infant.
am i the only one who is experiencing this? i do have real friends; the kind of friends that would be there for me at the drop of a hat and check in on me often to see if everything is okay. friends that i believe when they say 'if i lived closer, we would spend so much time together'. that's just the thing; they don't live around here. that's when i appreciate the convenience of being able to chat online, email, video chat. but the friends that live like 5 miles from me can't even give me the time of day. i'm not asking for much, and i'm not asking to be best friends [what does being a best friend even mean anymore anyway?], i'm just asking for some adult conversation at the park while our kiddos scrape knees and climb walls together. while our kiddos can build friendships that last and mean something so when they're adults and have kids they're not left having conversations with their infant best friend.