Monday, May 20, 2013

i'm struggling

day 20: get real. share something you're struggling with right now.

this is really hard! i'm not sure how much of my dirty laundry i want to air to everyone! i suppose one of the biggest things i am struggling with right now is finding time for myself. being a stay at home mom with two kids and someone who works early mornings, it's really hard for me to be able to have any 'me' time and often i feel smothered. its overwhelming daily because i feel as though i function best when i am alone. its also not that i just want 'me' time [which would include meditating, blogging, shaving my legs, drinking coffee in peace, doing my hair, getting a manicure...], i want time to be able to clean and organize without tripping over baby or being distracted by richard. i also have a hard time actually relaxing so any free time i do get i don't know what to do with myself. because i live with a closet hoarder and messy, messy, disorganized person, its so overwhelming for me to be in any space of this house without feeling overwhelmed and suffocated because i have ocd and a panic/anxiety disorder. i am trying to see the light at the end of this tunnel and hope that things will change very soon, but even the thought of that just seems so tiring and overwhelming. i did get a gift certificate to my fave salon for a deluxe facial... maybe that's all i need for now?

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