five songs

day 29: five songs or pieces of music that speak to you or bring back memories

all of these songs are very important to me for many different reasons

just pictures

day 28: just pictures

i am spoiled

day 25: something someone told you about yourself that you'll never forget [good or bad]

luckily what i am about to share with you is something good. really good. like, spoiled good. one of my bestest friends of all recently told me this [luckily, it was written in an email so i couldn't actually forget it]:

'you have so much fun. you don't want to spend your time idly, doing nothing at all. this bores you, and you feel bad about it, when and if it ever happens at all. you always have to be doing something. oh excuse me, you always have to be doing a few things! haha not really but you are capable! you know that whatever you are spending your time doing should be something that brings happiness to you and those around you. you don't want to be involved in anything that doesn't serve happiness and joy in some way. this is where your passion comes in handy. you develop interests in things that sometimes lead to passion. your knack for arts and crafts has lent you a hand in creating wonderful objects of all sorts, shapes, and sizes, and you have been able to push your boundaries into new arenas of artistry that you didn't originally know you would enjoy. once you have created something new, you move on to something else new. and you keep creating new things, over and over again. it never gets old though, because you don't repeat yourself. even if you decide to make the same thing, you will find a way to improve it the second time around. you have an endless drive to keep creating, and it keeps your mind active and interested. i love how you can look at thin air and visualize an amazing creation from the rolling waves in your mind.'

this means so much to me! i am so spoiled by the people who love and care about me! i am also so very glad they told me this because lately i have been feeling very uninspired and unmotivated. i've also felt as though that shows in what i do have the energy to create and that's not fair to myself, my business, and the people who rely on my creations. to know that i inspire and what i do actually means something, especially coming from someone i love dearly, makes me feel so amazing! it's also nice to know that someone else can appreciate my method of madness by not sticking to one project for too long and moving from craft to craft!

my three worst traits [but there totally could be more]

day 24: three worst traits. i have more than three that i am wiling to openly admit, but since it only says three then three i will confess...

1. i am sensitive. i wish i could say that i let things roll off my back, but i don't. i'm a logical person, but there are times when i feel so sensitive about something that someone has said to me or done and it just eats me alive. i hate that! i recently just had a battle with sensitivity when a friend of mine accused me of treating her in a way i would never actually treat her. i really got bent out of shape over it, even though i didn't do anything wrong! eventually i got over it, but i seriously was so upset for a bit!

2. i am confrontational. but only when it's convenient for me. i actually hate confrontation, but there are several instances where i feel it necessary to be confrontational. i wish i weren't in most  cases, however; i have been able to use it to my advantage a couple of times and have gotten out of a few things because of it.

3. i am procrastinator. i do not work well with timelines or even deadlines. i feel as though i create, make, and produce the best when i am working under pressure. to me, it's a challenge. i like to work at my own pace and all of the pressure of having to have something done by this time or that freaks me out, but powers me through the task. i always get my projects done on time, but not without a little last minute hustle.

this 'blog every day in may' business

for the first twenty days, i did just fine... but the last few days have been difficult, not because i dont have the time or discipline, but because i am finding that the topics are hard for me to write about. i have literally sat in front of the computer screen brainstorming on how to approach a few topics or what photos to use for others and have come up empty and a lot of time wasted. so i wanted to update everyone and let you all know that i haven't really fallen off the blogging every day in may bandwagon per se, but that i just haven't found anything to really write about even with the topics handed to me on a silver platter.

there are a few more through out the rest of this month that are the same, so i am hoping to come up with other things to fill the day because i still want to actively participate in some way, but the other topics i can write about are already scheduled!

this has been a great challenge for me and am proud of the discipline i have had to be able to blog as much as i have and to share some more personal details with all of you. i am definitely not disappointed in myself and am excited to start blogging more here even beyond this challenge. thanks for all giving me feedback and for being so cool!

lets go back..

day 21: a list of links to my fave posts in my archive

oliver shai
national breast feeding awareness month
the cutest crawling baby ever
a day at the park
mother daughter day
diy spa kit

i'm struggling

day 20: get real. share something you're struggling with right now.

this is really hard! i'm not sure how much of my dirty laundry i want to air to everyone! i suppose one of the biggest things i am struggling with right now is finding time for myself. being a stay at home mom with two kids and someone who works early mornings, it's really hard for me to be able to have any 'me' time and often i feel smothered. its overwhelming daily because i feel as though i function best when i am alone. its also not that i just want 'me' time [which would include meditating, blogging, shaving my legs, drinking coffee in peace, doing my hair, getting a manicure...], i want time to be able to clean and organize without tripping over baby or being distracted by richard. i also have a hard time actually relaxing so any free time i do get i don't know what to do with myself. because i live with a closet hoarder and messy, messy, disorganized person, its so overwhelming for me to be in any space of this house without feeling overwhelmed and suffocated because i have ocd and a panic/anxiety disorder. i am trying to see the light at the end of this tunnel and hope that things will change very soon, but even the thought of that just seems so tiring and overwhelming. i did get a gift certificate to my fave salon for a deluxe facial... maybe that's all i need for now?

my five fave blogs

today i am sharing with you my five fave blogs for blog every day in may. it is definitely not hard at all to give you this list, though i wish i could list my ten fave blogs because i have so many!

1. a beautiful mess

elsie + emma are probably the most modern & urban, creative beings out there. each of their posts appeal to me so much and i find crazy amounts of inspiration from them. i also love how much of the behind the scenes they share which gives me so much motivation to stay organized and on top of things in the blogging world. everything they post is so gorgeous, beautiful, yummy - i definitely have blog envy with them.

2. nearsighted owl

what i love so much about the nearsighted owl is rachele's ability to be so outspoken and confident in such a positive way. she takes the negativity that people display of fat people and turns it in to sort of a badge of honor for herself. i've never really had a lot of confidence in my body and am always trying to make it better so i am a little jealous of her acceptance of herself, but reading her blog has slowly given me the confidence i need to not only try to improve myself to be at a point where i am happy, but to accept myself for what i look like now. aside from her 'fat bitch' attitude, she also has a really amazing eclectic style, not just with her clothes, but in her home and life as well. i always look forward to those posts.

3. MADE

dana is amazing. i have a love for sewing and get inspiration from her blog every single day. her posts and creations have challenged me to step outside the box a little bit and make things i otherwise wouldn't feel i could make. i also love her photos in her posts. they're so crisp and clean; there is just something about a photo with an all white background that makes me weak in the knees.

4. girls of god's heart

every day i wake up and this is the first blog i click on. the girls at this blog give daily inspiration and scripture that really get me through the day. their posts are constant reminders of the struggles we have and how we can just lean on him to get through it. personal stories are also shared which is great because it gives us readers something to relate to on a more personal level.

5. harvesting kale

i adore randalin. i read her blog to learn from her. she teaches montessori in her home, she makes sure her family makes healthy choices; she's kind of a crunchy and i admire that. i get great recipes from her, learn to make some educational things for the kids, things to pack for lunches for them, parenting ideas and advice as well as experiences; her blog is just full of knowledge and it's all things we have a love for. i'm not quite sure yet, but there is something about her blog that sets it apart from any other blog like hers out there. also, i tend to like blogs with a simple design that is still visually pleasing and randalin totally captures that essence.

what are your guys' fave blogs??

i'm so vain

today for blog every day in may i am to share with you my favorite photo of me and why...

okay, this was hard because there aren't many photos of me and the ones that are of me i don't really like too much. but i would have to say that of all the photos i could get my hands on of me, this would be my favorite.

it's not professional quality, but i love it and here is why:

i was feeling particularly good that day
it was the day i took ownership of a lot of things emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually
i had finally accepted the length of my hair and was excited for it's growth
the shape of my eyes are crazy prominent in the photo
i actually like my smile

overcoming obstacles

for blog every day in may i am supposed to share with you what has been difficult for me and how i am overcoming it.

unfortunately i am not at a point in my life where i am ready to share my difficulties that are anything other than trivial. i've been going through some really trying times right now and eventually i will be able to share them with you and my experiences in getting through them. 

however; with anything else in my life that may be difficult, they're also pretty unimportant and not worth being anything other than resilient. when you have children you have to learn to pick your battles; that's definitely something you should practice in life anyway. when you spend all of your time trying to fix things that are out of your control, the bigger, more important things seem all too overwhelming and become more difficult than they really should be. my daily, difficult obstacles are simply overcome by letting go. that is something i definitely have to remember to do since i'm going through this difficult time in my life right now. i need all of my energy to get through this. 

are you going through some difficulties? how are you overcoming it? 

a day in the life

today we are to share a day in the life of us for the blog every day in may challenge [p.s. you can find out more about this challenge by clicking on the cute button up there]. it's also pretty apparent that i am in love with the new photo app by a beautiful mess blog, so i'll be sharing with photos.

i get to wake up to sweet nose pinches every morning

then i get to make myself coffee so i can [halfway] function

most days you'll find me on the floor of the living room with all of my pta stuff sprawled out and my cute collection of owl mugs

i watch this cutie most days of the week and get to witness oliver becoming more social

a huge portion of my day is spent checking and replying to emails as well as blogging and social networking

oh hey, a selfie [who doesn't take selfies?]

most of the time, this is how afternoon mealtime goes down

which results in a rub a dub dub, scrubby in the tubby

ten things that make me happy

todays topic: ten things that make me happy.
-seeing my kids play together -when my baby dances -bry's sweet little 'love notes' to me on occasion -having a sense of my own space -the position of one's head as they bite into a taco -the way the air smells just before it rains -fresh laundry -a good book -meditating -pictures of baby animals
what makes you happy?

my apologies...

today's challenge is to issue a public apology. while i grappled with the idea of publicly apologizing for things i have or have not done to someone, i found that this post comes quite easy for me to write as i have no problem apologizing for things i've done wrong. but to spare anyone any personal details, i decided to just embarrass myself today and leave everyone else out of it. here goes... dear body, i am so, so very sorry! i have neglected you for over a year now and i really am sorry. i used to take such good care of you; working out, walking, eating healthier, applying lotion regularly, washing my face every night, brushing my teeth more than once a day, shaving my legs more often. it's just taking care of baby, handling intense situations at bry's school, blogging, barely having help with anything else - taking care of you fell by the wayside. now we are just a big ball of fluffy and that needs to change! all of these things are excuses, though, and can be fixed! so i make a vow to start taking care of you better. i promise i'll do more yoga, take walks daily with baby, eat much healthier, use more lotion, wash the make up off my face before bed, brush my teeth every night, and shave my legs more than once in a month. i know that if i take better care of you, my brain will work better for me. again, i am so sorry!  love,

i miss...

i miss...
my parents and my brother. they moved down to san diego, which is where i am from, and it makes it very hard for me to see them as often as i would like. i currently don't have any family here and i really miss being able to get in the car and drive a short distance to visit. i talk to my mom weekly on the phone, but i am the type of person that craves physical communication and you can't get that from talking over a silly phone miles and miles away. 
i miss...
living in the five cities. i grew up down there [and by 'down there' i mean about 32 minutes from where i am living now, which isn't a big difference] and it just feels like home to me. i don't feel as though atascadero is my 'home'. everything in the five cities is so familiar to me; the stores, the streets, the houses, the stop lights, the parks - everything! i hope some day soon i can have the opportunity to live there again. 
i miss...
the family i used to nanny for before i found out i was pregnant with oliver. i miss all of them; the mom and dad, the kid and the baby. they were so generous, so accommodating, so amazing! plus, working for them brought me closer to the people i care for most in the five cities and it allowed me to be able to form a huge bond with one of my best friends as well as my parents when they were still living here. working for that family had a lot of awesome perks, too, i wont lie. the pay was amazing, i was able to get adjusted any time i wanted because the mom is a chiropractor, i got to hang out with a baby all day long, go on ski trips with them, hang out in their huge house, explore their huge property. they also paid for my gas if i went anywhere during the time i was with the kids. i might need to get in contact with them again because i sure do miss the heck outta them!
i miss...
bry being little. not so much a baby, but more so when she was 3 and 4. she has always been such an outstanding child and am truly blessed with her, but when she was that age we had the most fun ever. the way she would pronounce things when she spoke or read and how she would always point her finger up in the air when she had some 'portant to say'. i really love that age with any kid, but with her [of course i am being biased here] it was extra special and adorable. and her hair... oh her hair was so cute!!!
i miss... 
having a vehicle. it made sense for me to get rid of my car when i did because it was costing too much to keep and we do just fine with one vehicle, but there are times when i wish i could just be like 'this is mine'. i don't really have ownership of anything substantial and i miss that. 
i miss...
having time to shower, shave my legs, wash my hair, put on my make up, get dressed, do my hair, pluck my eyebrows, and breathe in the morning. my 'getting ready' routine usually doesn't happen until about 2 in the afternoon and even then i might have a chatty baby at my toes who climbed in to my shower fully clothed looking up at me with a gummy grin and blinking his eyes uncontrollably because the water is splashing in them. don't get me wrong, it's cute; but i just miss being able to get ready with out having to trip over little feet each time. mama needs a few moments to her self sometimes!
what do you miss? is it family? a friend? a place? 

ten words or less

todays challenge for blog every day in may is to try and sell myself in ten words or less. unsure on how to approach this, i decided to sell myself with nine photos instead. since, yah know, a picture is worth a  thousand words and all...

it's true; you can get your butt stuck in a garbage can!

my most embarrassing moment, huh? well, let me take you back to a day in my freshman year of high school.... just a few short months in to school, when everything is so new and you're still trying to find new friends, i was standing with a group of kids during break. a senior friend of mine walks up to me with his buds and starts chatting with me about game night. the bell rings, everyone scatters, and he picks me up and sticks me butt first in to the garbage can! and it got stuck!!! not because my butt is the size of a trash can, but because the trash can wasn't full enough and my butt sank to the bottom with my knees touching my face! since the bell had rung, no one was around to help me except a few bystanders. but they were laughing as they all walked off and i had to call for help from the custodian. he got me out and walked me to the office where my mom had to bring me a new pair of clothes. but because she didn't get off work until later, i was sent back to class smelling like... a garbage can! oh my gosh, i never heard the end of it! there is nothing more terrifying than having your butt stuck in a garbage can by a senior during the first part of your freshman year of high school in front of a large crowd and having the custodian get you out! talk about social suicide! i still give my senior friend shit when i see him and he still laughs his butt off. i'm waiting for the perfect moment to pick him up and stick his butt in a garbage can! 

a moment in my day

my mornings consist of early morning snuggles just as the sun is peeking through the window. oliver sleeps in his own bed all night, but the last hour just before the sun comes up, i bring him in to bed with me for snuggles. 

a little advice....

today i am supposed to offer up a piece of advice to you for the blog every day in may challenge. this is a challenge with in itself because i am not one to offer advice normally. sure, i give advice to a friend who is going through some shit with their boyfriend, but most of what i have ever offered is mostly superficial and not too important as far as advice goes. so when i sat down to think about what i would write about, not much came up. one thing that did stick out, is incredibly vague, but so profound all in one. 
love always.
how vague is that? but it's so true! you should love always. love is the greatest feeling of all and is so much more affective in anything that it should be chosen always. love infects! show your love to someone and it is the most beautiful thing in the world. we are always striving to be our best, but we should always give our best, and our best is love. so friends; love always. it's the best advice i can give.